Random Blurbs Of Insanity
by Lavender Saiyajin
Summary: Two men have started a circulation of randomly insane, narrated video clips around Capsule Corps. Has the resurected Bardock, Radditz, etc... is a side fic to "A Blast From The Past".
1. THE WAR WE CALL LUNCH

****A/N: This is an offshoot of Blast From The Past. It deals with happenings way later in the series (of which only that fic is known). Brad and Vega decide to play announcer for some... odd events, and record them.  
  
Warnings: Attempted humor, OOC... yadda yadda...  
  
Oh! If anybody wonders, thoughts are in between these "{ }" and visions will come between these "". This "( )" is me interrupting. A computer's voice will be between these, " ' ' ". A change of POV will be "*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*". Scene changes will be "*". Okay? ****  
  
Disclaimer: While I do not own DBZ, I do own this idea... so... *thumbs nose at lawyers*  
  
*  
  
It all started when Bulma found a DVD labeled "THE WAR WE CALL LUNCH: By: Brad AND Vega". She was a curious woman, so she placed the disk in a player, so she could watch it. What she found was... rather startling.  
  
The video played out. The scene was of a "normal" CC luncheon. The Briefs, the Sons and various others were preparing themselves for what was to come.  
  
"And so begins the epic battle..." says a soft voice over the speaker.  
  
"You are so right Brad... this not so normal routine is a daily part of life at Capsule Corps," says a second, harsher voice.  
  
The camera stilled as pandemonium broke out.  
  
"Woah! Look at Kakkarot go! Vega, I think that we should all be careful around these people," Brad says in a soft yet exited voice.  
  
The man in question was diving for the roast beef.  
  
"He's coming in first on the road to roast beef, with Son Gohan coming in second!" said an exited Vega.  
  
Goku and Gohan nearly collided over it as...  
  
"And Son Goten goes in for the steal! That was so fast that I barely saw it... What do you think Vega?"  
  
"Kakkarot and Son Gohan are just going to have to look elsewhere for their next target... And Trunks Briefs shoots for the macaroni salad!"  
  
Brad started narrating again, "Yeah, and he just missed by inches as Vegeta (Jr.) made his move. And there goes Vegeta (Sr.), it looks like he's going for the sushi tray! And... He made it!"  
  
Vega continues from where he left off, "It looks like Son Gohan and Trunks Briefs have an issue to settle... They were both after the same salad! Ooh! Kakkarot and Bardock square off for the rice bowl... Who will get it?" In an aside, "I place my bets on Bardock... I'm sure he's willing to resort to dirty tricks for it..."  
  
Bardock managed to lose the rice bowl to Goku, however, and instead dove for the chili bowl. Unbeknownst to him...  
  
Vega continued, "Looks like Son Gohan got the salad... Trunks Briefs is homing in on Bardock's chili bowl! And... Lucky, Bardock snatched it away just in time..."  
  
Bulma watched for about fifteen minutes, giggling occasionally, as the announcers, Brad and Vega, commented on some of the most unlikely positions people at the table found themselves in. It was clear that Brad and Vega were doing this purely for their own amusement, yet... Bulma found herself wondering just who the Hell these two were...  
  
**** End of Tape One. Join us next time as Brad and Vega narrate a sparring match between our two favorite Saiyajin. *-* Unless you're the one I discussed this idea with, I want your guesses as to who Brad and Vega are. You might, or might not be surprised... 


	2. THE WAR WE CALL RELAXATION

****A/N: Thanks Krissanya, for being my first and only reviewer as of yet... *pouts*  
  
Warnings: Attempted humor, OOC... yadda yadda...  
  
Oh! If anybody wonders, thoughts are in between these "{ }" and visions will come between these "". This "( )" is me interrupting. A computer's voice will be between these, " ' ' ". A change of POV will be "*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*". Scene changes will be "*". Okay? ****  
  
Disclaimer: While I do not own DBZ, I do own this idea... so... *thumbs nose at lawyers*  
  
*  
  
"THE WAR WE CALL RELAXATION: By: Brad AND Vega"  
  
"It's a nice relaxing day. A day we can sit in the sun watching Kakkarot and Vegeta (Jr.) attempt to kill each other. In fact, that's what we're doing right now." Vega began the narration.  
  
The camera pans showing that everybody is sprawled in the grass watching as Goku and Vegeta warm up getting ready for their sparring match.  
  
Brad speaks, "Before long, all of these viewers will be running for cover, as the battle unfolds."  
  
"Ooh, that has got to hurt. It seems that ChiChi and Bulma are having their own dispute on the side as their mates have it out in the air!" Vega said almost cheerfully.  
  
Brad chuckled, "It's hard to say who will win in either case. Kakkarot and Vegeta (Jr.) are rather evenly matched these days, as are Bulma and ChiChi. Their mates have taken to training them recently."  
  
Vega cut in, "And look at the hair fly!"  
  
Over the speaker could be heard the voices of ChiChi and Bulma, screaming over whose husband was stronger.  
  
"Wow," said Brad, "just look at them go!"  
  
"No kidding..." said Vega, then, "Oops. Looks like Kakkarot and Vegeta (Jr.) have stopped their match..."  
  
"They seem to be placing bets on who is going to win."  
  
"ChiChi has the greater experience, but Bulma appears to be stronger. Their tempers are equal. Who do you think is going to win, Brad?"  
  
"I'd say... ChiChi."  
  
"Then I'll side with Bulma."  
  
The music that had been playing in the background changed from "Kung Fu Fighting" to "Smack My Bitch Up". Many of those who had been watching the fights started laughing uncontrollably.  
  
Brad and Vega sounded like they were choking on laughter.  
  
Brad started up again with the narration, "And Bulma has ChiChi by the hair in the dreaded 'Hair-Lock'... And ChiChi appears to be countering with a bad case of..."  
  
"Flatulence," concluded Vega. "If this keeps up, ChiChi is bound to be the winner... And I'll lose the bet... Could someone give that girl some Gas- X?"  
  
"And ChiChi appears to have broken the lock, tossing Bulma into a pool of conveniently placed water... How'd that get there?" Brad sounds a bit startled.  
  
"You know, Brad?" asked Vega.  
  
"What?"  
  
"This kind of reminds me of lunch... only not as vicious."  
  
They stayed quiet for a moment before Brad said, "And that's all for today. Remember to join us next time for..."  
  
"Shut up, you idiot... We don't have a name for the show yet!"  
  
"..."  
  
**** End of Tape Two. Watch next time as Brad and Vega comment on "the pantsing episode"... "The War We Call Hyper-Activity".  
  
If you happen to have any idea who these two psychos are, feel free to tell me... And, if you happen to guess... please leave your email address. 


	3. THE WAR WE CALL HYPER-ACTIVITY

****A/N: Yo. Just so you all know... There are going to be 42 episodes of this if I ever finish writing them... Next few episodes are going to be specials...  
  
This series contains... spoilers from the "Blast From The Past" series... so...  
  
Thank you Tapion Trunks! Here's the third installment of "Random Blurbs Of Insanity"!  
  
Warnings: Attempted humor, OOC... yadda yadda... Pantsing.  
  
Oh! If anybody wonders, thoughts are in between these "{ }" and visions will come between these "". This "( )" is me interrupting. A computer's voice will be between these, " ' ' ". A change of POV will be "*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*". Scene changes will be "*". Okay? ****  
  
Disclaimer: While I do not own DBZ, I do own this idea... so... *thumbs nose at lawyers*  
  
*  
  
"THE WAR WE CALL HYPER-ACTIVITY (Or, why you don't let a high-strung Saiyajin have sugar...): By: Brad AND Vega"  
  
The camera pans to show one of the "living rooms" at Capsule Corps. Vegeta no Ou, Vegeta no Ouji, Mirai Trunks and Chibi Trunks (now 17) all sitting around talking. Nothing special seems to be happening.  
  
"Hn," a soft grunt (Vega) echoes over the speaker, "How boring..."  
  
The camera switches to a different view, this one of the kitchen, where Goku, Turles, Bardock and Goten seem to be trying to hold a conversation and eat at the same time.  
  
"Still nothing special," mused Brad. "It's too quiet..."  
  
"No kidding," countered Vega.  
  
The view switches back to the Vegetas and Trunkses. Suddenly, Danny, who, by that time, was easily recognizable at CC, rushes into the room.  
  
"Hey," said Brad happily, "This looks like something...!"  
  
Mirai Trunks attempts to exit through a side door, but is caught by the woman in a glomp.  
  
"What the Hell is she doing?" Vega asked.  
  
The woman caught Mirai Trunks' pants at the waist and yanked them down, pinching his butt in the process. He let out a yelp, and ran out the door, tugging his pants back up.  
  
"She... Hahahaa... pantsed him..." Brad choked.  
  
The Vegetas and Chibi Trunks backed away from her, towards the wall.  
  
"Get out while you still can!" Vega sounded a little... panicked.  
  
Danny let out an insane giggle and rushed at them.  
  
"Oh no!" Brad said excitedly, "She's got Vegeta (Sr.)!!! Oh... and there go the others... making a run for it... I sure hope they get away alright! Uhm... I didn't want to see that... The King isn't wearing any..."  
  
"Underwear," sighed Vega.  
  
The seen was mildly edited.  
  
She laughed again as he cursed, trying to pull the spandex back where it belonged.  
  
Brad chuckled at the mildly absurd scene.  
  
"Aiiiii! She's coming towards us!" yelled Vega comically.  
  
The view -suddenly- returned to the kitchen, where the odd form of conversation continued. Goten raised a finger, pointing out some obscure fact that only those at the table were able to understand.  
  
Brad whispered, "Do they even realize that she's headed this way?"  
  
An insane cackle interrupted Bardock's small speech. They all stared at its source, blinking in unison.  
  
"Wow," she said, in a breathless fashion, "They all look alike... I wonder how much so..." They continued to stare.  
  
She lunged at Turles, who happened to be the nearest of the four. Having spent as long as he had at CC, he knew when to move out of someone's reach. He dove under the table.  
  
So she made a grab for Goku, who, with a freaked out look, managed to escape by using Instant Transition. "What the Hell are you doing?" asked Goten, backing away.  
  
Bardock joined his brother under the table.  
  
"Nothing!" she trilled, managing to grab a hold of his pant-leg in a lunge. Then she pulled them down, of course.  
  
"Wah!!!"  
  
Bardock and Turles managed to escape during the confusion. They weren't seen leaving, but they most definitely were no longer there.  
  
Danny took a deep breath and smiled. "I feel so much better now..."  
  
"She does, does she?" Brad asked. "I hope she doesn't do this every time she gets upset."  
  
Goten sheepishly pulled his pants back up, trying to glare at her at the same time.  
  
Vega coughed, "Well... at least the boy was wearing underwear..."  
  
"Uhmm... Hey, Vega?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"Did you see where Bardock and Turles went?"  
  
"..." Vega was silent.  
  
"Anyway... Remember to join us next time for... CC Wars!"  
  
"..."  
  
**** End of Tape Three. Watch next time as Brad and Vega comment on a day in the life of Dr. Briefs and Kitty... "The War We Call Underwear: Insanity".  
  
IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THESE TWO PSYCHOS ARE, FEEL FREE TO TELL ME... AND, IF YOU HAPPEN TO GUESS... PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. 


End file.
